Gonder Pleads Guilty to Brother’s Murder
July 23rd, 2010 by Joe Burgess
Duane Gonder, age 25 of Monticello, plead guilty, Friday morning, to the charges of 1st degree murder of his brother, Marcus Gonder, aggravated assault, and attempted introduction of a prohibited item into a jail.
Gonder was sentenced to serve 46 years in the Arkansas Dept. of Correction.
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Posted July 29, 2009
Gonder Pleads “Not Guilty” to Capital Murder, Kidnapping, & Aggravated Assault
Duane Gonder, charged with capital murder, kidnapping and aggravated assault, following the shooting death of his brother, stood beore the Drew County Circuit Judge Sam Pope, Monday morning, represented by Little Rock attorney James Wyatt, and pled “not guilty” to the charges he is accused of.
According to reports Duane shot his brother, Marcus Gonder, 5 time during the events that led to the charges, during a domestic disturbance.
As mentioned in the earlier articles (posted below), prosecuting attorney Thomas Deen will not seek the death penalty.
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Posted July 13, 2009
Gonder Formally Charged with Capital Murder, Kidnapping, & Aggravated Assault
According to Prosecuting Attorney Thomas Deen, Duane Jefferson Gonder was formally charged on Thursday, July 9, with kidnapping, aggravated assault and capital murder, based on criminal information that has been filed with the Drew County Circuit Clerk.
Kidnapping is a Class Y felony (10-40 years or life sentence), but is reduced to a Class B (5-20) if it is determined that the victim was voluntarily released by the defendant alive and in a safe place.
Aggravated assault is a Class D felony punishable by not more than 6 years, subject to an additional 15 year enhancement if a firearm was involved in the commission of the crime.
A conviction for capital murder would, in this case, earn an automatic sentence of life without parole, since the prosecutor has filed a waiver of the death penalty. The death penaly was waived due to insufficient evidence of an aggravating circumstance. To impose a death sentence, Arkansas law requires among other things that the prosecution prove beyond a reasonable doubt, at least one of the specific aggravating circumstances specificly detailed in the statute. The prosecuting attorney was not satisfied with the proof of an aggravated circumstance.
In spite of the filings, Deen clearly wanted to remind the public, as always, “the defendant is of course legally presumed innocent.”
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Posted July 3, 2009
Gonder’s Bond Set at $750,000 for Capital Murder of His Brother
Duane Gonder appeared before Drew County District Judge Ken Harper, Thursday afternoon, in his first appearance hearing, after being arrested and charged with capital murder of his brother, Marcus Goner, as well as first degree terroristic threatening.
Judge Harper set Gonder’s bond at $750,000.
Gonder is being held at the Drew County Detention Facility
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Posted July 2, 2009
19 Hour Manhunt Ends with Surrender of Man Wanted for Capital Murder of His Brother
According to Drew County Sheriff Mark Gober, Duane Gonder, wanted for the Capitol Murder of his brother, Marcus Gonder, Tuesday night around midnight, called the 911 dispatcher to make arrangements to turn himself in, around 7:30 Wednesday evening.
Drew County Sheriff’s deputies, along with Sheriff Gober met Gonder just across the Drew-Lincoln County line, and took him into custody without incident, and transported him to the Drew County Detention Facility. Gonder also faces first degree terroristic threatening charges.
At 12:03 a.m., Wednesday morning, a  911 call came into Monticello Police dispatch, reporting that Marcus Gonder had been shot at his home, north of Monticello, by his brother, Duane Gonder.Â
Sheriff’s deputies arrived, and soon called for a coroner, who pronounced Marcus Gonder dead at the scene. He had been shot multiple times in the torso, in the living room of the family residence.
Duane Gonder was said to have left the residence before officers arrived, traveling  north on Plantersville Road, in a blue Ford diesel powered pick-up.
Shortly after daylight Wednesday morning, the abandoned Ford pick-up was located near Plantersville Road, in northern Drew County, approximately 1.5 miles off of the paved roadway, stuck in a washed out section of a logging road.
Sheriff Gober contacted the Cummins Unit of the Arkansas Dept. of Corrections, and asked for their assistance with the search. The search team responded with 5 men, 3 horses, and a pack of search dogs, combing the area for Gonder, along with local law enforcement officers, for over 5 hours. Sheriff Gober wishes to express his appreciation to the Cummins unit for their dedication in attempting to locate Gonder.
The search continued on, with law enforcement watching roadways where the suspect may try to cross into other wooded areas and escape, as well as checking out-buildings, until the 911 call came in, successfully bringing the manhunt to an end.
Duane Gonder arrived a the Drew County Detention Facility just after 8 o’clock tonight, followed by a dedicated group of tired, but successful law enforcement officers, some up for over 24 hours.
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I have been upset all night over this. Marcus was such a good guy. I loved hearing his stories about his trucking adventures. I just cant believe this. I dont understand senseless violence. I’m so sad that we have lost such a good man. Tasha my heart aches for you. I cant even begin to think the pain you are in. And to Marcus’ family I didnt know my heart aches for you as well. My thoughts and prayers go out to you all.
My prayers go out to the Gonder family.
i was sadden when i heard this tragic news. my heart goes out to the family. let’s remember what the bible saya about how we are living in the last days. as a monticello family lets keep this family in our prayers. we know that God can heal the broken hearted and raise the bowed down heads. remember that we all need each other’s prayers.
Such a tragedy. My son used to work with Marcus and my daughter graduated HS with his sister. Our thoughts and prayers are with this family.
What on earth will make you kill your brother. This is so sad!!
THIS SO TERRIBLE. MY HEART AND PRAYER GOES OUT TO THE GONDER FAMILY.
This is truly a tragedy if have known this family for many years and it breaks my heart that this has happened. My prayers are with the Gonder family. May God wrap his arms of protection around Mrs. Peggy and the rest of her children.
Jo Ann
This is so terrible. My heart and prayer goes out to the gonder family.
I HATE THIS TERRIBLE TRAGEDY, MY PRAYERS GOES OUT TO ALL THE FAMILYMEMBERS.
Great Job Everyone!!!!! Drew County works endlessly to bring justice and safety to those that live here………Good work!!!! Thanks Cummins for your assistance, and anyone else that worked with Drew County Sheriff’s Office :)
Marcus was an amazing young man with such a bright and promising future. My thoughts and prayers are with the entire family.
I have known this family for 20 years. Mrs Peggy has been through so much with the boys. I pray God will comfort you in your time of need. Good job to the Sheriff’s Dept.
This is a tragedy that didn’t have to be. Another one of our good young men gone too soon by the hands of violence. It hurts me to my heart to know that Marcus life has been taken by one of his own and we all ask why? There is alot of pain, sorrow and heavy hearts for the lost of our love one. May I ask that everyone please pray for our family & know that Marcus spirit will live on.
I don’t know what made Duane do this. But lets keep in mind that when we are praying for the family that he also needs a lot of prays sent his way right now. I went to school and grew up with Duane and I never could have imagined something like this happening.
i also went to school with duane and would never have imagined he would kill his own brother! my thoughts and prayers go out to the familiy.
I am tired of all this. We need to learn to get along with each other. This has got to stop. I pray for the Gonder family.
Marcus, was a great example to all children who have made poor choices when they where young in life and proves that you can make something out of yourself if you truly want to. To the juveniles that say this is the hand I have been dealt and I will just have to live with it, Marcus showed you that YOU can to live a better life if you want it bad enough. Don’t blame others and start taking responsibility for your own life. I spoke a few months back to Marcus and had asked him to speak at the next STOP THE HATE vigil for this year, it saddens me to the core to know that, now he will not. I have known him for many years and no matter in what capacity through those years I was seeing him he always had a big smile. Just this Tuesday I had the pleasure of meeting and speaking with Tasha about Marcus, I hope she was able to let him know about our conversation. WE will be having another STOP THE HATE VIGIL August 7, 2009. I ask for anyone or group to please contact me to participate. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone in this sad and tragic time.
I wish that we could stop all of these sensless killings! My prayers are with the families of these two men. Just goes to show us that Satan is working overtime, huh!!
Why did he get killed? What was the reason?
I know a time like this is rough and hard to grasp, but keep God in your life and my prayers go out to the Gonder family.
My name is Tasha Lewis and I have had the PLEASURE of being with Marcus Gonder for eight years. He was and forever will be a beautiful person. This should not have happened to him. People need to realize that you can not blame the things you do on alcohol. You must own up to your mistakes. Justice must be served for Marcus in order for him to rest in peace. I know Marcus is in a better place, but this is not anyway for anyone to die. I could have lost my life that night but God kept me here for a reason and part of that reason is to help bring justice to what happened to Marcus. Marcus, I know you are looking down on me, so just know that you are loved and greatly missed by me and De.
I grew up around the Gonder family. I can remember when they used to ride their bikes to our house and to my grandparents house on 425 North just to have fun with us. I never would have thought that this would have happened to their family. Monticello, it is time for us to get down on our knees and starting praying,, not only just for this family but for everyone everywhere.
Hello, I am Marcus and Duane’s sister. I want to express my feelings about this terrible situation that the ruler of this world(Satan) has allowed. I will dearly miss Marcus. He inspired me in so many ways that I can not list. The Bible says that the deceased knows nothing…..not even pain. I do have my brother Duane left who is hurting so bad about what he has done. I am typing this not to offend anyone.My brother, Duane need help for his anger issues and depression. I wish he could have gotten treatment for this at an earlier age. He has time to think about what was done to our dear brother Marcus. I know Duane in ways that people posting comments do not and I know it will be hard for him to live with himself for what he has done. Some times that is even worse for a person than to try to seek eye for an eye.I pray that Jehovah God looks over Marcus and be with Duane that he may have strength to get through this. Yes, I agree that family are not suppose to kill, hurt, or harm one another ,but another thing that family is suppose to do is forgive one another and be there for them in their time of despair.
I understand that people must forgive others for their wrongs, but the first step to forgiving someone, is by that person admitting to themselves and God what they have done. A person can not be sorry about the wrong they do to another when they are lieing and trying to save their own butt. Just remember that Marcus is the one who is gone and Duane is still here to ask for forgivness, but he must first accept and admit to what he did.
Again, my prayers are with the family. As a mother, I cannot imagine what the mother of these two are going through. She has basically lost two sons. It takes time to heal… and it takes time to forgive. If you are not ready to forgive noone on this Earth can make you forgive. God will put forgiveness in your heart. I pray that you all stick together and get through this.
I’m saddened by this tragic event. Marcus was an incredible young man. The last time I saw him. He visited my mother’s home. He spoke gently respecting my mother.. she asked him to sit.. He wouldn’t sit until he was asked. He was this noble.. what a gentle soul. Marcus spoke of his career and his desire to move Tasha and daugher Dee to another state. He spoke of Texas and California. He wanted Tasha to experience and see the country as he did — A WORLD OF OPPORTUNITY. By the time Marcus left, my mother and I were speechless just staring at each other.
I no longer live in the area so I didn’t see him often. One thing I can tell anyone is that this young man wasn’t a dreamer, he was an ACHIEVER. He knew how to make any dire situation into a bright end of the road Rainbow.
I sincerely wish that a small percentage of our young Americans can be like Marcus Gonder. He didn’t eat from a silver platter. He learned and paid for his mistakes at an early stage. However, Marcus didn’t sit and have self pity. He took the horse by the reins and got to work! He learned an industry which he could be successful and became self employed.
Why does the good ones leave this world so soon? I can’t understand but I’m asking the Almightly (God-‘Allah’ in Arabic) for guidance, patience, and understanding. One thing I know is that he is indeed in a better place.
C.Gragg
Houston, TX
I am disappointed in Drew County for allowing Duane the opportunity to post bail. This must be some type of joke. This man terrorized the community. Everyone was armed and all doors were locked because this coward thug ran the woods hiding out after murdering his older brother. What type of legal system exists in Drew County?
Can you imagine if he posts bail? What if he runs again, murders again? Will Drew County take responsibility? I don’t think Pulaski or Jefferson would’ve allowed this to happen. All rural counties need cash, however, will Drew County be able to handle the lawsuits arrising from this poor decision?
If he murders his brother, do you think he will hesitate to murder you?
my heart goes out to dis family. im praying daily 4 u all. such a tragedy. 2 my young people, we are leaving sooner than we thoght we would. its time 2 seek GOD. Tasha whom is a very good friend of mine, im also praying 4 ur strength in the LORD. dont hav the words to say. but im here 4 you and family
Senseless, devastating, horrible: are all words that could be used to describe this act of violence on one of our own, Marcus was an incredible and caring man. I have known Marcus for years and have seen him change and blossom into this mature and responsible individual. My heart goes out to the Gonder family in hopes that they could keep moving forward and stay prayerful. My heart goes out to one of my best friends, Tasha, in hopes that in due time, she can put the pieces back together and continue to be strong and mighty. People say you have to forgive those who have done you harm but until you have been in those situations you can’t say what u will or will not do. Things will improve with time and PRAYER!! Tasha I know the love you have for Marcus and I know the love he had for you: Its still there!! No one will ever be able to take that away. Though he is not here with us physically, remember, he is always in our hearts. I will always remember Mark at our graduation: Smiling and taking our picture. I don’t want to picture him any other way. To Tasha, De, and the Gonder family: stay strong and remember Marcus will never be forgotten.
First to the Gonder family I’am so sorry for your loss.At the same time,I was disappointed when I read the article concerning the matter.I’am not going to be jugdemental about the issue because I wasn’t there. But, I can’t believe Duane will not own up to what he did to Marcus. I feel if your’re man enough to commit a crime,you should be man enough to own up it.Your family dealing with the senseless,horrible loss is enough of a burden.What I found so stupid was the part about the light flickered,and he said Marcus had a 12 gauge shotgun.My guestion would be why did he continue to shoot if he never had a shot fired at him? When you tell a lie,you gotta know how to tell it.Then he had the audacity to make someone go along to watch him kill his own brother.But, Duane doesn’t have to answer to us @ all.All he needs to do is get it right between himself & the man above. To those who might not know I’am the mother of their niece & nephew(Erika Roberson,VonEric Gonder)Remember this is my opinion which everyone is entitled to one!!!
I had the pleasure of knowning Marcus on a personal level for about 2 years. I was at work when I heard what happened and my heart stopped. I remembered when I wished him a happy birthday this past FEB 10 and we spoke briefly via sms in March. Marcus was so special, he kept a smile on his face. He will truly be missed by me and everyone else that he had the pleasure of knowning as well. Marcus touched a lot of lives and his memory will live forever. It is not up to us to judge and crusify Duane, trust he is probably doing that himself. Him and Marcus was very close, but sometimes people will make a mistake that can cost them the unthinkable and that’s what happened with Duane. Duane is in my thoughts as well. I just hate that Ms Gonder had to lose both her sons and their brothers and sister lost both brothers. Duane can’t take back what he done, but I hope that he is able to find closure with himself, God, and Marcus. It saddens me the way Marcus was taken from us, but Marcus we might be saying fairwell, but never GOODBYE! My heart and prayers go out to the Gonder family and Tasha. Hope your pain don’t last always. Until we meet up again, Marcus Gonder, I will never forget you and the memories we shared. I know you are in a better place looking down on us.
Shunnie
Conway, AR
Wow, all this love and sentiment. I know neither one of these young men but I am truly saddened for the family. I know there are no words that can comfort you all and that everyone says it will get better (I highly doubt it) but from all this pouring out for this family, I hope it will ease their pain a little. It is wonderful that a community of friends and strangers are their to help you through this difficult time. Your family is in my thoughts.
i think he deserved what was coming to him, not just because of him murdering his brother but he also ran into my cousin during deer season totaling out both vehicles while under the influences of drugs… then he stole his shotgun out of my cousins truck.. it scary just to think of what he could have done that night with that gun…
Praying for peace and comfort for the Gonder family during this difficult time. Just another example of Satan being alive and well. May the Lord give you strength to endure these painful times.
If this young man admitted that he did,, in fact, kill his brother, how in the world could they even consider letting him post bail!! It was proven and stated that he did admit to the authorities that He did committ the crime of murder! Just like it stated.. SATAN IS INDEED WORKING OVERTIME AND THAT HE IS ALIVE AND WELL! WE GOT TO FIGHT HIM AND NOT LET HIM WIN THE WAR AGAINST ALL OF THIS CRIME!!!
I believe that they should bring him back in and lock him away until tria date! He is afterall a known criminal for this horrendous act and he should not be allowed to roam the streets!!
Joy comes early in the morning…
I do not know about Satan, but this guy should have pled guilty and spared his family more grief. It is clear he has no remorse for his actions and should be locked up for the rest of his life. COWARD!
Nan, you have to remember he is considered “not” guilty until proven. Alas, even sexual offenders are allowed bail, parole from prison and the ability to walk our streets.
THANK YOU DUB, FINALLY! I read some of these post by individuals and they are so hypocritical. If you are charged with capital murder, you should not be allowed bail and in most cases you are not.
Great example DUB, YOU ROCK!
I realize that all are presumed innocent until proven guilty and none of us have the right to stand and pass judgment on anybody else. After all.. GOD SAID: LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN, CAST THE FIRST STONE. So.. if I spoke out of turn, I do apologize for it.
We do have the right to stand in judgment on others. Read the Book of Judges in the Old Testament. We are to follow Mans Law unless it is contridictory to Gods Law. So the person who wears the black robe and the 12 in the jury box does sit in judgement of others.
Hello,
I have been a personal friend of both Marcus and Duane for the last 12 years. Marcus was a wonderful person who spoke highly of his family and Tasha. I want to say that today finding out I felt like a ton of bricks hit me. I spoke to and saw them often up until the end of June. It is hearbreaking how something like this could have rocked the whole Gonder family and community. Duane needs the help with his mental status since we were younger about 14 years old. He seemed like a gentle soul for so many years. Marcus was an amazing friend who turned his life around. He will be greatly missed and my prayers go out to the Gonder family and to Tasha and her daughter. Tasha although we never met he is watching you and will always be with you.
Duane and Marcus Gonder are my blood brothers. People in the community do not understand how any of this could happen ,but at any point in anybody’s life they can make a mistake. If you are the one who makes the mistake how would you want others to treat you. I pray for my family every night; that we can remain strong despite it all. I love Duane, Marcus, and my other siblings; all the same.
I can see the crazy twist the family is in with it being a sibling. But do not confuse the love with the inocents of Duane. Duane committed a horrible crime not only against Marcus but, Tasha and His wife that night. Mistakes happen yes in deed, when you forget to put the tolit seat down and ya wife falls in. This man had lots of time to stop his actions. If the people of Monticello do not hold him accountable for each crime he commited like they did the drug dealer than we all need to pack our bags and move. Need I remind you he “aledegadly” SHOT HIS GUN, KIDNAPED HIS WIFE WITH HIS SMALL CHILD IN THE CAR LOCKED HER IN THE TRUNK TOOK HER OUT TO LET HER SEE THAT HE BUSTED THE DOOR WENT IN SHOT HIS BROTHER TRIED TO SHOOT ANOTHER. You can still love your family and that is fine but in no way should anyone escuse, minimize his behavior. He should spend the rest of his life behind bars or even on DEATH ROW. Because he could be knocking your door in next and lets give these victims some peace to lay their heads down each night knowing that he will NOT be coming home. Like the sayings go ya mad your bed now lay in it, ya did the crime now do the time and Man up on your mistake and take it. Because there are more than one “victim” here.
Well the JUSTICE SYSTEM has faild again. For murders that is he will be eligible for Parole in about 25 yrs and he did not even have to plea to all of his charges and only had to say “I shot my brother” never explained what he done to the girl. Not even a tear was shed when he said that. I hope the family will deciede to move on and let the actions of lawsuites go. It will not bring Marcus back and all people need to move on and heal. Ms. Peggy let it go money is the root of all evil. You already have gotten more than you should have. The insurance money and the funeral reimbursment that was to go to pay for the funeral and did not. Let it all go for everyones sake….
This is to “To Crazy”, u are too judgemental. And to comment on how the family is handling the situation is none of your business. Get a life and stay out of other peoples business. How the family handled the funeral and money is no ones business. If things were not done right, they will have to answer to a higher being.
Maybe this will close one chapter and start a new one for all affected people.
I am posting this acknowledgement for all the world to read. I have waited for the dust to settle to finally add my own words of endurement. The Lord have blessed me with a heart of unconditional love and forgiveness throughtout this entire situation. Realizing that certain things in life happen without instant reason but just remaining in faith can only bring strength and endurance in the end. I truly had the pleasure of knowing my brother in law Marcus Gonder and my husband Duane Gonder. We all as a family were very close and loved one another dearly. And I know for a fact Duane truly loves and misses his brother every single day. The comments made on this page stems from lack of understanding, judgemental, hatred, undecisiveness, words of comfort, and words of encouragement. And thank you, God Bless! Everyday I suffer knowing that I lost my family as well, but my hurt doesn’t compare to the hurt of the Gonder family being torn apart. A family had to endure private personal issues displayed for the world to comment on. And not being able to display true emotions but just continue with as much dignity as one can have in this matter. Lord bless the ones that truly need you. Shine light on the ones that dig ditches. May Marcus soul rest in Peace. And have mercy and forgive Duane for his sins. This world needs to realize that in any situation you Lord, have all power to heal and restore all that satan tries to destory… I am trusting in the Lord while I wait for my storm to pass and no one can go against these words of peace.
I had decided not to ever respond to this site again, however today i must. I do believe that Duane loves Marcus. In the beginning of this i did not believe so because Duane allowed an evil spirit to destroy my family, our family. For eight, almost nine years the Gonder family was apart of my own. In a matter of seconds, i lost all that i had grown to love. So many relationships in my own life has been forever damaged. Emotionally I have been broken but sadly my child has also. You see, Marcus and I had established our family and had worked hard to accomplish our dreams together. Not only did i lose the love of my life, I lost my friend and a wonderful father for my daughter. Yes, she has a dad but Marcus was more than that he was her father in every way a child could hope for and we were blessed. I had so much anger and hatred in my heart because I lost so much, and i can never get it back. Marcus loved Duane, and often talked about expanding his business to include his brother. I no longer hate anyone, i actually pray that all those can find peace for themselves because Marcus is okay. He did his work here on earth and through good and bad, he left this world a changed man, a good man. God has ways of healing broken hearts and i speak from experience because he his working on me every day. I carry Marcus with me daily, and yes i still cry but im okay and my daughter is okay. Things will never be the same and its sad that those good relationships are broken, but I can gladly say that I can pray for those I was not praying for before.
Only sadness today. Three whole years but it doesnt seem like it. I went to bed last night with a heavy heart and mind racing; I woke up this morning with a ache in my chest. Some days the thoughts of what happeded damn near kills me. I want so bad to have my life back before this terrible nightmare; before losing Marcus. I pray…I pray hard, don’t know what else to do. Some days I feel Gods blessing and I am able to smile and carry on with life…other days I’m numb to this world, walking around in a body I no longer recognize. I have no answers, no peace of mind, guess I never will. My daughter ask why Marcus and I have no answer. I ask God why not take me, why spare me that night from death and leave me with a world of pain. Or is all this just feelings of selfishness; me wanting my family back, me wanting Marcus back. I know he is in a better place but I rather have him here, with me. Today there is rage and anger all over again, feelings that I thought I had laid to rest, only returned. I want so badly to fully forgive but how do you forgive when you continue to hurt. I think about what Marcus and I life would be like at this point, were we would be, have traveled, and the family we would have produced. I think about the wedding day I was robbed of sharing with him. Am I wrong for wanting the one who hurt me and took my family away to hurt as I do, to feel numb and to wake up trying to find motivation just to live. All I do know is that I miss the life I once had and just want to be happy again. R.I.L. my heart, Marus Lee Gonder
Tasha,
As I read your post, I heard the words of the Lord saying, “I am the Lord, your God that heals you”. I think of you often. I pray for you, the Gonder family, and everyone involved in this matter.
Marcus was an awesome young man! He taught me so much about trucking. He was truly a God-send. He kept me encouraged and informed concerning the business. He became like a son to me. The success of my business was because of what he taught me. Certainly, he is not forgotten in our arena.
It is so easy for one to tell you to stay strong, so I say to you, “Don’t give up”. When you have those weak moments, get back up again. What would Marcus want you to do? What would he say to you? He would encourage you to go on, or to get back up again. Stay encouraged. Much love to you and your daughter. He thought the world of you and his “lil girl”.
And by the way, you are not being selfish…you are still grieving the loss of your man. You are a woman who truly loves her man. You have been through a lot. Allow the grieving process, but don’t stop living. Get back up again!
Ms. Cynthia,
Today is one of those days I checked in on my lov-bug page and it was good to see a message from you. I remember you…Mark spoke highly of you and others trucking on that highway…I never met you but It’s like I knew you anyway. Thanks for those words of encouragment…on a down day like today, your words mean alot. I hope this message one day reach you, as your message did me.
No words……
Today was one of those bittersweet days…thoughts of you and the “what if”. Bad days are not frequent but today…today was just sad…tears and still wondering why.